The In-Law Psychology
While marriage, all over the world, is the formal union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, this definition changes slightly where India is concerned.
In India, marriage is the formal union of ‘two people and their families’! Here, when the girl marries the boy, she marries the family! In India, the umbilical cord is never cut and kids remain kids for life.
So, not only does a new bride need to be compatible with her spouse, she needs to be compatible with the entire clan if there has to be harmonious living! And as is the norm here, most of the onus of adjustment falls on the new bride.( It could take a few months/years for everyone to settle into a comfortable routine and all is then normal). Till then, most of the compromise needs to come from the new couple.
In the Patriarchal society in India, it is considered rude if you, in any way, defy instructions of the Patriarchal figure of the family. The mother-in-law holds the position of the most important female figure. Inspite of these powerful positions in the family, the parents perpetually nurture a fear in their hearts that their son shouldn’t cross over to the ‘other side’! The son, after all, was their investment! It’s his duty to fulfil the responsibilities for the family.
In such a scenario, it thus makes sense to first make sure that the couple understand each other.
Kundli matching is done to access their compatibility. This age-old technique is based on the number of points the couple ‘gather’ based on the ‘Guna’ or ‘Ashtakoota’.Higher score means healthier relationship. Indians consider this reliable as it reveals both the partners mindset, their behavioural nature, interests, aptitude, health and also the level of physical attraction between them. Even the possibility of healthy offspring can be foretold with the help of Kundli. Kundli also helps to reveal the financial stability of the couple and whether they would be able to adjust to their new environment and families. It thus, is a very important tool to access a ‘happily ever after’ status for the newly weds.
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Of all the kootas in ‘Guna’ matching(Varna, Vashya, Tara, Yoni, Graha Maitri, Gan, Bhakoot, Nadi), the fifth koota, the ’Graha Maitri’ koota, is the most important in checking relationship stability and carries five ‘gunas' or points.
When the ‘Graha Maitri’ koota score is high, it is a good indicator of mental compatibility between the couple reducing ego clashes, strong differences of opinion and frequent conflicts. Once there is understanding between the couple, they will be able to adjust better with the extended family, ensuring marital bliss. If there is a ‘dosha' in the Graha Maitri koota, there will be unnecessary clashes between the couple and if there is no strength in their bond, the extended family bonds may not be of much help in providing stability to the relationship.
During kundli matching, Graha Maitri koota has so much importance that astrologers are prepared to overlook Gana dosha and Bhakoot dosha, if the Graha Maitri koota is strong along with a strong 7th house of the natives. It is this strong koota that could reign in the in-laws too, to adjust quickly to the new member of the family.
Don’t take any chances when it comes to life’s crucial decisions like marriage. Get the best Vedic astrologers in India to do your kundli matching.
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